Yes, only four more month of bullshit. Of days of hate. Of days so filled with loathing of being that you no longer wish to exist. 4 more months of hating having to come home. Of having to struggle to look someone in the face, to bring words forth just to save some semblance of courtesy.
A still life while sitting here. Cold. Unwavering. Uncaring.
Yet we know that no matter how cold the winter, there’s a springtime ahead. It will happen. Brace yourself for the cold. These desolate times will pass. We cling to the hope that it will get better, as it always does.
People can be dirt. Yet stop and consider this: you have friends. You have people who love you, who care about you, who will be there for you. Maybe you just don;t realize it yet, you haven’t reached out just that extra step, leaned another inch off the cliff. The crashing waves below are frightening, yet the feeling radiating into your finger tips from the air above is ever inviting. Be brave. Let yourself be loved.
I’ve come to realize that no matter what there is always someone who will be thinking of you. Someone that cares for you, who will worry if you stop talking to them, wonder endlessly about you if you aren’t there. Even if it’s not the person you want, it is someone. You mean something to someone. It’s not a cold and desolate world out there. Its scary to look at, but warm when embraced.
Bullshit only lasts so long. You have the power to change it. I made the mistake of thinking bullshit would be okay. That I could deal with it. But it drags on with you, it clings to you and looms over like the proverbial thundercloud on gloomy days. I singed that lease thinking it wouldn’t be so bad. It took me too long to realize that I hate bullshit. So I did something about it. I stand by my actions. Make your life you’re own, unyielding and unbending to the thoughts of others, especially the fake, dumb people you have to go through life with. These people do not last. They are exchanged for those you realize care for you.
I can be patient for that long. After all, we’ve been waiting our whole lives.