A year without your smile. A year without your laugh. A year without your warmth. A year without your love. A year without my brother. A year without my friend.
I cant even think about it; how much I miss you. What I wouldn’t give just to have one last conversation with you, just to hear the sound of your voice. I just want to hear you laugh again, and I want you to know that I love you. You made a horrible mistake and it cost you your life. I can’t even begin to describe my anger and frustration, but above all that is a numbing emptiness. I feel like a shell, a husk. I’m empty. Lost in a crowd of strangers.
Maybe I wasn’t always there for you. Maybe I tried to push you away because we believed in different things. Maybe I wasn’t a good big brother. But I always loved you. You were always the person I wanted to see at the end of the day. You were my little brother. You were my best friend.
What I wouldn’t give to switch places with you. You had so much going for you. You had so much potential. And it is gone. You had so much more to give. Not a day goes by that I wish it was me, that you are still here.
It’s been a rough year without you.
I just hope that where ever you are, you are happy and you are loved.